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A Spoiled Christmas
Foamy: Every year, there's a Christmas. And recently, every year, it's followed by a slew of spoiled jackasses taking to Twitter and other social media, bitching and complaining about the gifts they're receiving on Christmas morning! "I can't believe my mother didn't get me the newest iPhone! She knew I wanted an iPhone! And all I got was the newest Samsung Galaxy!! SHE'S SUCH A BITCH!!" Lady... you just got a $400 phone, which your parents are paying a monthly bill for, and you got the nerve to tweet complaints about it, using that very same phone you just got!! Really?! Really!?! Frankly, if I was the parent of a spoiled bitch like that, I'd just take that phone right back to the store where I got it and come back with some lame ass flip phone from the turn of the century! There you go, you spoiled prick! Text on that! And you know, it doesn't just start and stop with phones. Clothes, toys, games, gaming consoles, cars... People are complaining about getting the wrong fucking colored car! "I wanted my mini Couper in red and they got me yellow!! I HATE MY PARENTS!!!" YOU. GOT. A CAR! A FUCKING CAR FOR CHRISTMAS!! I still have to take the fucking bus!! Which is exactly what I'd be making this brat do from now on. Here's a bus pass, dick! Have fun sitting in the back with the angry gang of teens using a retro ghetto blaster to annoy the seniors for the next twelve months! Jackass! And-- And you know... You know... I get it. I get it. You expect one thing and get another. And it's disappointing. I get it. But seriously, save the complaints for the cheap scratchy wool sweater you know you'll never wear. Complain about the toe socks you just find weird and impractical. Complain about the eggnog and its lack of alcohol content. But, you know, when it comes to $400 phones, $20,000 cars, and pretty much anything over 50 bucks, keep your fucking mouth shut. I don't wanna hear people whine and complain because they got "the wrong phone" or they got "the wrong gaming console," or the wrong fucking colored car! It's FREE. You have no right to complain about it! And you know, if you don't want whatever you got, send it to my PO box! Okay? I'll either use it or donate it to someone who can! And hey, have you ever wondered why your parents have to get you stuff for Christmas? Have you? It's because Santa already knows you're a whiny little bitch and decided long ago to stop showing up to your fucking house when you complained about getting the wrong fucking "Pokeymen" when you were six! Okay? Santa hates you and your parents are just trying to keep up tradition so you don't feel bad. You know, just be thankful they don't toss you in a dumpster with a bullet in your head. Alright? Merry Christmas!